I have an extra day off this week because this upcoming Saturday I am working the 9am-5pm, that is going to be interesting to say the least. I am happy that I got this third day off though to be honest, I didn’t really do much this weekend, I didn’t go out except maybe going to my local shopping centre and nerding out with the workers at the pop culture store over the information and trailers released from San Diego comic con.
I got myself a playstation, my bestie Katie has been suggesting I play Fall out with her, while doing that I also got Crash Bandicoot, Marvel vs Capcom Infinite and Final Fantast XIV online. I been gaming most of this weekend in between my book writing and taking photos on Second Life. My gaming skill is so poor at the moment but my fingers are remembering the usual combos, so I’m positive it will all come back to me.
While also having all this time to myself it gave me time to delve inside my mind and ask that big question- “What do I want”, rather than pleasing everyone around me and keep on giving while getting nothing back, I decided that it is time to release the remnants of negative energy, that is it ok to admit the faults and move on. It turns out that when I allow more positivity in my life and not let my emotions overcome logic, everything else seems to fall in place.
Also when this happens, my creativity spark and ambition to move up with my career burns even greater and me being the ultimate believer in what the universe and God has in me, they say the future is looking bright for me in all aspects.
“A mere copier of nature can never produce anything great.” – Joshua Reynolds
I love to write stories whether book length or short quips and post them here for you all to read. This is the most obvious statement and when I look at my ten years of being on either IMVU or Second Life, I could happily say my own virtual world could have it’s own memoirs of my time online. I have had my fair share of positive and negative moments whether it was in-character for roleplay or just being me, I have experienced a lot.
Also what is with the case of the exes? Soon as I make a note I am single, they all come flocking back! Except 3 which I’m glad for, but the rest of them? I do not want a boyfriend, this is a new chapter in my life and I wish to focus on me. I want to be at my highest peak of success/career and personal happiness before I even think of dating someone again ohh and while travelling the world to my favourite destinations (Japan, Paris, Disney world…to name a few).
I am still forever grateful to my girls Katie, Lana and Aria for reaching out to me during my times of need and seeking advice, they haven’t been angry or offering vengeance rather they been giving sole advice, hope and ears to listen to my constant, flailing thoughts that are an emotional tumult even now.
Side note: Cutesy girls with child-like faces while totally kinked up needs to go, you don’t see that bs in reality so the whole trend going off on Second Life (not on IMVU thank God!) needs to desist, there is one thing to look “pure” and Lolita inspired but these girls just look like young girls, stop encouraging the pedos to come out of their dank caves!
Featuring my five likes for this very busy week;
- Family fuelled weekend, aunts from New Zealand are here and spent Friday, Saturday and today with mum’s side.
- Red Rooster’s cheesy nuggets, these are a cheeky snack and are so nom during cold days
- My imagination, it’s wide open whether through doing pictures on SL or continuing my Seven realms trilogy.
- No more tension, it’s been sealed off and clearing out the mental vents and because of it, I’m definitely back to my chirpy self again and people are noticing
- Golden State Warriors won the season! And the trophy is back in the bay! #Dubnation
I don’t like being a huge mix of emotions at the moment but I guess when a big chapter in your life ends and a new one is just beginning, it is prone to happen and it just depends on my mood of how long this will last.
I mean four years of a long distance relationship is such a long time. Yes we have ended and I had called it out since he was over here. The friend who I kept asking was she more than a friend turned out to be true and he tried to blame me for something I didn’t do, two days after he returned home.
I was confused and lost at what I had done wrong and tried to do everything I could to fix it, but you can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be even in a call with you and you have better conversations with a brick wall. Now the feelings have changed from confused to disappointment and irritation.
Plus more questions now that we ended. What has he told his family back home to make it so easy for him to switch up his relationship? How long has this friend of his, been more than friend? My sister reckons he’s been going behind my back but I don’t think so.
While trying to deal with my mentality in it’s present state, I been weighing the pros and cons and cons are becoming more prominent the more I think about it over what has been going on during our time together.
I’m just fortunate to have a large support base in my family, local friends, work department, besties and international friends, without them I’d be a horrible mess.
I have sealed myself off Second Life for the past two weeks, I made an announcement and discreetly vanished. And truth be told, it feels really good. Finding myself being able to go outside more or find my imagination giving me motivation to continue my many stories has been an amazing feeling and realisation that I prefer reality more than virtual.
Though I have recently been logging onto IMVU, the very first virtual world I joined back in 2008, I am on it to socialise with my group of friends who occassionally log on but are not on it for long hours upon end because we all have busy realities to be part of. This casual dabbling into pixels is better for me than what I used to do and I’m glad I managed to detach myself from an addictive pattern.
Because I have removed myself from worrying what others in Second Life think or stopped caring on how I act and happy to just be the real deal, there is less stress around my life. I am also doing this for the sake of my long distance relationship, he decided to remove himself from the virtual universe too and is feeling much better because of it.
Since I have done this massive change too, I am already feeling the results of a life without toxic personalities.
I am tired because I didn’t get much sleep last night (body decided to wake up at 4am for no apparent reason), I am fangirling because Disney dropped both a new teaser for Avengers: Infinity War and the Han Solo standalone film. I am also annoyed beyond anything else because of the behaviour of my younger sister. Overall I am a mix of emotions tonight but the positive is outweighing the negative thankfully.
My 30th is this upcoming Saturday, not that I can really forget it. My work mates are ensuring I’m still remembering it especially since I share the day with my manager. I can no longer make excuses of being in my twenties anymore, I will be in that thirties age gap and I’m not sure what to think on that. I don’t feel any older except of course when it comes to my health and the dire need to change my lifestyle ASAP.
But I still love the same things I enjoyed when I was 20, the only difference between me being 30 and a decade ago is that I like to believe I have wisened up to what life has thrown at me, I have thrived in difficult circumstances and now prospering into a new chapter that I can happily call mine.
I been working AM shifts the past two days and will be working AM again tomorrow on my birthday, no I do not feel anywhere close to 29 and still feel like a hyper 21 year old girl 😛 I have also been going for walks with my mum and her work friend the past 3 nights, the back of my knees hurt when I wake up! Takes a bit of stretching before I’m ready to tackle the day, our weather down under says starting from tomorrow it’s going to be another 3 days of 40 degree weather. Eww!
This week’s 5 likes;
- My DokiDoki crate for this month arrived yesterday
- Housekeeping manager brought mini donuts to work today, so nom
- My hair when blow dried goes past my chest now, didn’t realise how long it is!
- One of my VIP guests has a birthday reminder on his phone for tomorrow
- All my recent Flickr uploads have been surpassing 20 favs each 😀
Enjoying this 24hr break between my AM and PM shifts, it was so busy working the morning 7am-3pm at work the past two days because we have a lot of conferences and corporate groups staying with us. They check in for one night and leave the next day it also means no tour groups so no easy check out of a zero balance. I survived though and got just two more days of work left before I participate in yet another walk/jog with my mum this weekend.
This week’s 5 likes;
- Early evening drives heading up north to my favourite hangout by the river
- I got 2 name mentions from guests in our hotel surveys
- “The Hen Den” my Facebook group chat with International girl friends
- Making a list of Halloween movies to watching leading up to the 31st
- My Flickr is 20 followers away from dinging 900 😀
No vices tonight other than the usual vents that you all know about or I have already clucked to my friends about, plus my brain is tired and can’t be bothered to make an opinion. Good night ❤
I got another proper weekend off which meant tonight I got to hang out with Lana again in the city though mum had a dinner with her side of the family at our local RSL. She wanted me to come but I wanted to tell my bestie about where I am up to in regards to my character Ame Hayato and her stories. It was also a very hot today today and is going to be warm tomorrow, stayed cool but I do not like it when we have bushfires whether back burning/controlled or suddenly done by some stupid person who did not put out their cigarette correctly while driving.
This week’s 5 likes;
- My Front desk, the entire crew- we had no boss but we survived and had fun doing it
- Shadowhunters Season 2 trailer! I stayed up until 4am earlier this week, so worth it ❤
- Character discussion over Japanese dinner with Mei tonight
- I cleaned out my desk’s shelves of paperwork and re-did my many notebooks
- My pictures on my flickr are getting 15+ favs this week 😀
No vices tonight despite mum annoying me and trying to guilt trip me in not attending her birthday dinner, I already had dinner with her and the rest of our family on her actual birthday! Boss lady was kind enough to give me AM shift on that day and PM shift the next day so I didn’t have to worry on an early bedtime.
Day 3 of work today and so far nothing too dramatic going on at work and I even got time to continue my story board for my Lotus Hexad trilogy. Counting down still until I get to watch Suicide Squad as well as flying out to Hawaii, need to start packing for that soon.
Second Life facebook and people’s statuses though, what irks me is the girls who are known for having many men complain about how they can’t last in any sort of relationship maybe because word spreads of how many males you have conquered and its not attractive at all. I wonder have they ever thought about this, not every bloke likes used goods.
I haven’t started my trilogy yet either and I keep adding more details into my little notebook, I have the opening chapter ready just need to motivate myself to type it all. Anyway, these are my five likes;
- How to cake it youtube channel, Yolanda’s cakes are amaze
- Tom Hiddleston is back in Australia for Thor 3 😀
- Cadbury crunchie block
- The patience and understanding from my boyfriend
- Ever After High’s latest Netflix movie: Epic Winter
I have been a writer since I was in primary school and then been a roleplayer in the online worlds since 2007, it has been both my creative space and my escape when reality is too hard. Over the years, friends and acquaintances have complimented my work and asked have I considered being a writer as a career. I did dwell on it in Yr 11 while still in high school when my best friend and I were doing random collaborations of stories together.
Unfortunately getting to be the next Jane Austen or JK Rowling is very hard for any wannabe writer so I decided to go logically, moving through jobs and career paths until hotels of where I am today. It wasn’t until yesterday while on front desk, my Assistant manager and mentor into being a team leader got a brief read of my Warcraft stories on this blog and it had left her stuttering and almost speechless!
I never thought I would have someone who enjoyed my story and someone who was outside the fantasy world, pixel lands and fellow roleplayers. Someone who is more in reality and never heard of World of Warcraft. She had stated after reading the first two paragraphs that I was in the wrong industry and should consider making my writing into a serious career. It had always been a dream career but only the lucky ones can get successful with the publishers.
Still it left a warm feeling in my chest especially on such a cold day and left me living in that moment and realising that despite my short stories that I post in this blog, I still have that creative talent inside of me 😀
A lot has happened around the world this week in both tragedy and surprise on a personal level, it has also been my four days off and I am back to work tomorrow. I got to watch both Warcraft and Finding Dory on my days off, both excellent and entertaining to watch in their own levels. Warcraft was reaching to the WoW gamer in me and seeing Azeroth come to life while Dory was seeing a movie get a sequel done right after 13 years.
Did a couple of shopping as well which is kinda normal for me every week but I need to ease up to build my resources again especially if I’m aiming for Europe next year. Sadness is surrounding Orlando as the world knows but hope and love will stay love within the LGBT community, I know that we will continue and hopefully the Americans can curb their gun control. As a fangirl with a hopeless celebrity crush I am mourning that Tom Hiddleston is making out with Taylor Swift and torn inside.
Other than thinking he is the real life Disney Prince and Bees knees and thinking she makes great music and a sweetheart to the fans, but he is taken and no longer available, I know he’s way above my level and couldn’t ever think of meeting him in the future but still- its my dream hubby no more.