Mood: Mish Mash


I don’t like being a huge mix of emotions at the moment but I guess when a big chapter in your life ends and a new one is just beginning, it is prone to happen and it just depends on my mood of how long this will last.

I mean four years of a long distance relationship is such a long time. Yes we have ended and I had called it out since he was over here. The friend who I kept asking was she more than a friend turned out to be true and he tried to blame me for something I didn’t do, two days after he returned home.

I was confused and lost at what I had done wrong and tried to do everything I could to fix it, but you can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be even in a call with you and you have better conversations with a brick wall. Now the feelings have changed from confused to disappointment and irritation.

Plus more questions now that we ended. What has he told his family back home to make it so easy for him to switch up his relationship? How long has this friend of his, been more than friend? My sister reckons he’s been going behind my back but I don’t think so.

While trying to deal with my mentality in it’s present state, I been weighing the pros and cons and cons are becoming more prominent the more I think about it over what has been going on during our time together.

I’m just fortunate to have a large support base in my family, local friends, work department, besties and international friends, without them I’d be a horrible mess.

– Lu

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Diary: Return to Chaos

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I have returned to the daily grind at my beautiful hotel in the city and I can happily boast that my team needed me desperately though I was only absent for two weeks. It is so good to see everyone again, though I enjoyed the time my boyfriend was here and got to show him a lot of my city, being back in the office and talking with my colleagues and doing our usual antics, I missed them all!

A lot has happened in the past week and a lot has been occurring this current weekend too, they will be featured in my positive thoughts for the weekend. Since Brad has left, I have been thinking over my trip for next year and when to go. Obviously it will be my turn to go to England and finally meet his parents and all his friends but I’m unsure on what time to go. My mum and bestie thinks I should go in their winter to see if I can survive it or not.

There is also talks of who would move where, my dad has already expressed that I am not going anywhere but in the end, this decision will be up to me and where I want to go in the next two years.

Sharing my five likes for this week;

  • Black Panther with bestie Mei last weekend, it is such an amazing movie and I downloaded two songs from the soundtrack
  • I have lost 6 kilograms since I started that life changing diet, friends and family are noticing the difference
  • I bought The Last Jedi novel when Brad was over here, my shipper heart for Kylo and Rey made me so happy in reading the book. Jason Fry brought the movie to life even more
  • Bruno Mars tonight with my Filo cousins and sister, from what I heard from friends who already been, he is an entertainer and keeps the crowd going.
  • Brad and I shared rolled ice-cream the night before he flew home, it was in a cute pop store in my favourite shopping mall in the city. Oreos of course and so yummy.

– Lu

Mood: All kinds of Broken


I have been offline for the past two weeks since February 24th because of the sole purpose that my boyfriend Brad was here in Australia and I took him around Sydney and slightly outside the basin. The first week went at an easy pace, he met my family at my 30th birthday party, it was Harry Potter theme and we then had my sister’s wedding the following weekend, Brad caught the garter too…

My whole family adores him and he can get along easily with anyone he meets, he even met my regular hairdressers and my favourite shop assistant at the vintage store Kitten D’amour. The second week we did more tourist outings in the city including Manly beach and Taronga Zoo but like all good things, it must all come to an end.

At 2:30pm in front of the gates of Sydney International airport, I said goodbye to my other half. Even now, 4hrs later and sitting down in my room where my bed is remade and all my plushies are back, the room still smells like him and my chest still aches. I asked one of my high school friends how did they do it with their now husband and she advised to keep looking into the future and our next reunion.

The next reunion will be in England when I go there next year, I thought I’d go in August when my parents fly to Canada but mum suggested I should go in January, to experience their winter and if I would be able to handle it if I moved over there. Still thinking about dates just for now, I’m nursing a sad heart.

– Lu

Mood: Lost


Boyfriend is definitely coming to Sydney next year in March, so he’s been texting me every day to let me know about this >.> And it also means that discussion of what is going to happen in our future together is popping up in our every day conversation a lot more than I planned whether on my days off or after I finish work. He is set on not moving to Australia because he is comfortable in England, I don’t want to leave Oz because this is where my support network is and I’m assuming the same in his case too.

I did think about it tonight, well I have been thinking about it since he said he would not move here to Sydney that I would be the one moving to England but there have been several cons that have prevented me from thinking about that country as a permanent place of residence. I would happily go there for a year or two to experience what it be like and plenty of my girls have moved to other cities and countries for the sake of their man.

But I was balancing the cons with my boyfriend tonight over text and it’s still got me doubting.

  • Transportation is expensive! Travelling from suburbs into city
  • Living in the city is too expensive, previous experiences of mutual friends told me they barely had enough to eat!
  • The terrorism level, everyone knows about it, its on the news annually
  • Far from my family, I have cousin in London sure but everyone else is a 25hr flight away.

He and I will take more about it especially when he comes here for two weeks, but at the moment I am very lost.

– Lu

Diary: So Close

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As the days creep closer and my parents and I are finalising our checklists and our packing, I’m just happy that I am already on annual leave after six days of work last week. Not that it wasn’t stressful, happy to say that my very last shift at work turned out to be quite pleasant with a lot of hugs and well wishing from my colleagues. I’m looking forward to travelling in business class, it is such a long flight to get up to Dubai alone.

Been organising with the boyfriend of what we are going to do together in the second week while in England, I know that the cat cafe is one thing I definitely want to experience even after finding out Sydney has its own cat cafe in the city. Mum has also asked Brad if he would like to join us on a trip down to Portsmouth, she is going there to meet her work friends but the train ride would be nice for my parents to find more about him.

  • I pre-ordered the Enchanted rose from Beauty and the Beast, also acts as bluetooth speaker
  • Family dinner with my family and my sister’s fiance’s family tonight, lots of laughs and good conversation
  • Getting keratin on my hair tomorrow, it means no more frizz!
  • Dollhouse DIY videos on Youtube are so relaxing, I have no idea why
  • Writing more, socialising in reality more like what I used to do before pixel universes took over

– Lu

Diary: Life as it is


8 days can put a strain on your body and you can imagine how relieved I was when 11pm finally clocked over and I was happily leaving work last Friday for my weekend off! It is also not long now until I am away for a month and in Europe! I keep having dreams of flying business class would be like. Though I have done it before when going to Christchurch with mum, this longer trip will be worth the heavy dollars that my family and I paid.

Also can’t wait to meet my other half in London, if all goes well with him and I after our first official meeting in reality, he said he would fly down under for my sister’s wedding next year in March! Here is hoping everything goes smoothly.

  • Catch up dinner with Mei last night, I haven’t seen her in a month!
  • Crunchie hot choc, The Choc Pot invented it and its a subtle version of the monster milkshakes. Yum!
  • The original Disney Princess voice actresses are making a cameo in Wreck it Ralph 2!!
  • I lost another kilo, I just wish my body would stop fluctuating on itself
  • Binge watching Z nation on Netflix, that show I admit is better than TWD >.>

– Lu

Mood: Grateful


They say that as you grow older you get wiser, so they say but for me in certain circumstances I believe it can happen and occurs at the most random of times. I’m sure some of my oldest readers of my blog recall before I deleted the post of how much I praised the group of friends I once had called the Night shift. There was six of us who hung out on Second Life all because we either night owls or lived in the same time zone.

Then when I returned from my Philippines trip over two years ago, we all had a falling out and I didn’t speak to some of them for ages, until now. The past months or so, I have been in contact with one of the girls and its only until tonight that I truly got to chat with her and catch up on what has been going on in each others lives. It’s been very nice and giving me the warm fuzzies and remembering what it was like in our old group because crazy drama got in the way.

As I count down the days until my Hawaiian trip, it is moments like these that I cherish and glad of all the good things occuring in my life right now. I hope the positive energy continues for the rest of the year.

– Lu

Mood: Loved


Aum managed to get his Friday off so when I finished work last night he was already awake when I got home. It was amaze! We went shopping on Second Life at both The Men’s Department and ROMP- being members of Elysion lounge we had early access compared to everyone else who doesn’t get entry until 12pm SLT, he even got a new crisp suit by Deadwool it looks gorgeous on him! 😀

I am very thankful and happy to have someone like him in my life, that regardless of being an ocean apart and the time zones being a pain in the bum, we still managed to stay connected daily and the weekends just become more special as we get to have each other’s company for the two days. I’m proud to be his submissive ❤

– Lu