So it’s two steps forward and one step back when it comes to my life and this week though it started off great deterioated into me launching into two bleeding noses while working and then being sent home and the two days after that I’m stuck at home. The reason why? I got another throat infection! Last time I had to call in sick was in early February because I had lost my voice and that was another virus that hit me badly now I have another one that has mixed with the common cold.
In the four years that I worked at Novotel, I never got this sick? I mean yes I did lose my voice twice but this is within a couple of months? Is it because I am in an open space offf with no open windows to let out the germs unlike before where I stood in front of the main entrance with it’s sliding doors? I have no idea but safe to say it is pissing me off- my immunity system.
Sure my body is still undergoing changes such as losing weight and the like and my roster has changed from the standard 9am-5pm to 11am-7pm AND it is winter and no I did not have a flu shot this year. Maybe it’s all these factors that have sent me off the deep end but I thought that my immunity system was harder than this, I guess not.
Staying at home has been nice though, I have Skitty for company and been on a creative spree with making pictures on Second Life and getting appreciated for them on my Flickr stream. I been hanging out with my bestie a lot especially now that she got a new job in a hotel where it grants her overnight shifts- a shift she loves to do and it means we can hang out during my afternoon/evening. I also watched Pacific Rim 2 last night, I don’t know people disliked it, I enjoyed it a lot.
The talks with my ex have been going ok, I mean when you don’t involve Second Life and talk about reality it has always been so much better, but I just been thinking to myself since I woke up this morning and read something online. I’m not sure if I can keep doing this, he contacted me two weeks after hurting me deeply and though it cut me up, I know I still harbour a trickle of feelings for him.
Maybe he reached out too early but when would be the best time to get in contact again, because how do I know when these old feelings will eventually die out?
My emotions are still a conglomerate of everything but it is more positive than negative so I’m happy to say that. Returning to work today after a pro-active, three days off (thank God we are part of the commonwealth to have a holiday to celebrate the Queen’s birthday though her actual bday is in April).
I saw Ocean’s 8 twice, once with mum, the second time with my bestie Mei. Got to see my grandma (dad’s mum) on Sunday night and been re-reading and typing more of Book 1 for my Seven realms trilogy. I have also been hitting a creative spike in taking creative pictures on Second Life, I am not getting the usual 30-50 favourites as before my 2 week break in February but I don’t mind that, I’ve hit 1.4k followers and that in itself an achievement.
When I do have a mental downer and I start to overthink over everything that has happened the past two months, my logical Aquarian brain barges in and gives me all the positives of each moment and though it may seem empty at times, I’m still getting better. Not for anyone else but just for me and my own self gratification.
Also in regards to my Aquarian brain, the ADHD side is throwing story ideas for what occurs after Book 3 in my trilogy, I had a basket of ideas in my head that I had to write it down inside one of my many notebooks stored in my desk. They might come to writing, they might not but they were bloody good, original notes.
I have been procrastinating in continuing book 1 of my Seven Realms trilogy, don’t get me wrong I have the scenes play out in my head before and after work when I have my soundtrack playlist blasting into my ears. But when it comes to writing the next chapter and written in a way that captures an audience where the genre is vastly populated and full of amazing authors who have wider expanses of imagination than I, it can be difficult…
Because of my procrastination and also my OCD of colour when it comes to my personal Instagram (I have deleted and re-shared photos of memories this past week, I think I need help in controlling this) I have been diverting from writing and wound up making outfits on IMVU or new Sailor Senshi/scouts on Dolldivine.com. I also can you believe it, broke my break of being off Second Life and logged on this afternoon to take photos, another creative outlet of mine.
For the past four years, I have attended this event in-world called Fantasy Faire and it is a fundraiser for cancer, it is also very popular and successful for raising enough funds to go to the American Cancer society. The people are the same and I refuse to go to clubs where there are many people, I have no time for toxic environments because these people who live online, will not ever change unless it is apparently life-changing.
On the side I have also started writing an anime style story with episode titles instead of chapters, featuring the new characters that I created on Dolldivine.com, my leading character is Sailor Lumiere or Hina-Ai Ryuuchi, a simple housekeeper but also a soldier for love and justice who also utilises the power of the Moon, but only a sliver of it. I have written Episode 1 already and thinking of ideas for the next episode while also trying to motivate myself to write Chapter 10 for Book 1 of my trilogy.
See what I mean? My brain is scattered and OCD/ADHD is killing me when it comes to colour on my social media. Maybe I should take a dose of that rescue remedy or something to help me focus, it is amazing that I managed to stay focus at work with all that is going on around me and in my brain.
I am tired because I didn’t get much sleep last night (body decided to wake up at 4am for no apparent reason), I am fangirling because Disney dropped both a new teaser for Avengers: Infinity War and the Han Solo standalone film. I am also annoyed beyond anything else because of the behaviour of my younger sister. Overall I am a mix of emotions tonight but the positive is outweighing the negative thankfully.
My 30th is this upcoming Saturday, not that I can really forget it. My work mates are ensuring I’m still remembering it especially since I share the day with my manager. I can no longer make excuses of being in my twenties anymore, I will be in that thirties age gap and I’m not sure what to think on that. I don’t feel any older except of course when it comes to my health and the dire need to change my lifestyle ASAP.
But I still love the same things I enjoyed when I was 20, the only difference between me being 30 and a decade ago is that I like to believe I have wisened up to what life has thrown at me, I have thrived in difficult circumstances and now prospering into a new chapter that I can happily call mine.
I have been all over the place since yesterday, a lot has been going on leading up to my big trip and the event that affected me the most yesterday morning was when my beloved boss told me that she had resigned from being our manager and was moving into the city and changing hotel chains. Needless to say I was devastated, I even cried to one of my assistant managers over this news.
Though my boss has only been here for year and a half and I know in her new role she will do amazing things, she has been like a mum figure to me at work and encouraged to keep being the best person I can be. She has encouraged me to apply for other hotels, other roles having noticed my restleness here in my current role and knows what I want in my career. She will finish up when I am still on my holiday but promised me that my current duty managers will keep me in the loop of who our new boss will be. I am just going to miss her so much!
In other news, it is six more day until I am boarding a plane and flying to Dubai with the parents, I told my best friend it won’t hit me until the night before when I have to stay up before our 2:30am pick up.
We are half-way through the absence of my parents and I only told my colleague at work and my other half picked it up during the skype calls and hanging out on Second Life that I do not function well in a lonely house. My sister has recently become a single lady and goes out every night and doesn’t come home until 2-3am. I am quite thankful I have Skitty in my house and international conversation with my friends around the world because I would go nuts without companionship.
It is a very human thing to have the need for company, though I barely interact with my family when we all home unless it is dinner time or going out to a party (when I’m not working that is) it is a nice feeling to know they are there under the same roof doing their own thing. Coming home to a dark house and only hearing the whinging meows of my ginger is rather lonely.
I decided to end the trial with Drav I knew deep down that it wasn’t going to go well and I just be leading him on, he seems more invested in what we had going than I was. On the other hand for the few who I already told yes I been speaking to my former Dom again and yes we hang out if the time zones are aligned perfectly for us.
He has apologised for ending it abruptly and acting like a dick but we taking it quite slow and see where it takes us, I know a lot of my girls are concerned after the way he treated me and they should be but please let me do this on my own. I wish to see where it goes and I’m much chirpier than before (if you couldn’t tell already).