Mei has removed me from her social media, though she hasn’t blocked me (thankfully) and I’m unsure why, the girl is not talking to me even when I tried to reach out to her after my 10km run in the city last Sunday. I am once again lost and I haven’t felt this way since my ex dumped me back in May. After her and I talked two weeks ago I thought we cleared out all the things that needed to be said, I thought we reached an understanding especially of who I am as a person including all the things she called childish.
I am fortunate to have my other two best friends in the U.S to seek advice, they have been comforting and giving me hope but I hope this matter is not a permanent issue and I have to say goodbye to a ‘best friend’ of 16 years, I haven’t told anyone else yet. It has been the dilemna I been trying to understand in my head this past week and I’m glad work hasn’t been too crazy that leaves me flailing over both social and work lives. I’m once again left in the dark and yes I am airing it out in my blog because I know this gets read.
Work has been ok, we had to say goodbye to one our new girls as she was not coping and I will admit that I got teary saying goodbye, it sucks being an empath and feeling the emotions of those around me especially if they are sad. I try to keep everyone upbeat but sometimes I need the positivity for myself too. We have two successful, new Reservation agents joining us soon. One is part time and the other is full time and both with experience in Front desk/reservations of hotels. Can’t wait to meet them soon.
I have reached that stage in my life, probably comes with the no filter and being 30 years old that I am not seeking a relationship anytime soon, it probably is because the previous one has damaged me emotionally again and every one that has tried to get closer have been placed in that unfortunate friend zone. I figured with everything that has been going on that I’ll just focus on myself which is further emphasis on my career and travelling of course.
Since I am not going to South Korea anymore, I am deciding that I’ll go to Japan in their Spring time (really want to be there for the cherry blossom festival) and then go the United States for their Autumn. Need to see Katie again and finally meet my other bestie Aria.
Positives at the closure of this week;
- I beat last year’s time of Blackmore’s 10km run by 6mins, mum called it a new PB (Personal best) though my right foot killed two days after the run. My younger sister did hers in 50mins easy, she is becoming more comfortable as a marathon runner than a sprinter
- My Royalty Soaps arrived yesterday! I have yet to unwrap them but they look so cute, I’m not sure if I would use them though but they both smell amazing- Macaron and cookies and cream
- My fashion is changing, though I’m keeping to the vintage/1940s look, I am also unlocking my inner Lolita and submissive nature which isn’t hiding as much anymore. I bought two elastic harnesses from Mary Jane lingerie arrived two days ago and they fit well and look great under v-neck tops especially.
- Read through two new books and addicted to both series, the next novel isn’t out until next year though. Reading again has helped me write my stories more too.
- Dad is going out for dinner with my sister tonight, so its mum and I at home tonight, mother/daughter bonding!
I had a bit of an identity crisis this week and I think it’s partially because of what Mei addressed with me on Thursday night. That should I keep enjoying the guilty pleasures that I love even as a 30 year old. I love stuffed toys, magical girl things such as Sailor Moon and Cardcaptor Sakura, I enjoy watching the Barbie movies and Monster High and I sometimes I log onto the virtual worlds of IMVU and Second Life.
Do these hold me back from progressing in my career as an adult? It had me me flail and mentally question myself that I even sort the advice of my other best friend Katie who lives in the United States. As I buckled under and really thought about who I was as person I realised that no, these childlike essences do not stop me from becoming a powerful woman in reality. It in fact a side of my multiple facets that makes me who I am.
Because of the childlike pleasures that I enjoy on a daily basis, it is what makes me smile and stay optimistic every day especially when I go to work and it is absorbed by friends or colleagues who are needing positivity in their life when it all seems too much. I also realised that if I stopped enjoying these things, I wouldn’t be 100% me even while “growing up” which is a term that is so overused and let’s be honest, no one truly grows up even when they say they have.
Work has been great with my manager returning but I think it is also because our new girls have picked up speed and now are on the phones, less stress on the rest of us. Though! One of my colleagues who was part of the opening team is leaving us at the beginning of next month, he got a job as a flight attendant and I’m devastated! He is amazing and fast in clearing off the emails and it’s just him on his own since another colleague is on annual leave.
Change and turn over seems to occur on a regular basis in a five star hotel, I guess it’s because I was so used to a hotel where everyone has been staying for more than seven years and over.
Finding the positives in every week whether big or small;
- My best friend in the U.S sent me a belated birthday present- a signed picture by Pinkie Pie’s voice actress Andrea Libman! It is now hanging up on my wall next to my desk, also the personal letter from said bestie made me cry
- I ordered two soaps from Royalty Soaps, Katie Carsen has a youtube channel and I love watching her create these artisan soaps so novelty and original, I had to get some
- The high tea last Saturday with all the women on the Filo side of my family was lovely, my cousin put so much time and effort into hosting you could tell in all the details (I want the cute tea cups!)
- My work won awards again! This time we got Best Australasian hotel, best new hotel and best service to the community, not bad huh as we keep reaping in for all our hard work
- Picked up French, they said in high school it’s easier to study than Japanese- we’ll see. I decided to study just because it would be nice to have a second language that is also beneficial to my company which is French
This week has been so busy with work! And exhausting because it has been the 7am-3pm shift, I was hoping that after our two new girls were trained up and on the phones, we could all revert back to our normal hours but this doesn’t look to be the case. I don’t mind finishing at 3pm, its nice getting home when the sun is still out but the waking up at 5am is very tiring.
The guests on the phones this week have been on the extreme ends either really nice and fun to talk to or very difficult that I need involvement from my manager (she has enough on her plate as it is!) I also had my specialist appointment on the Monday, she is glad that I am keeping the weight off and so far no blood tests need to be done, I am scheduled to see her in December again with a new weight goal in mind.
I haven’t been talking to the boofhead much this week and it’s probably because he and I have both been busy or he’s probably been occupied elsewhere in reality including this weekend that is about to finish. Before I would have sulked about it, but now its just coming to terms that he is not prominent in my life anymore.
Second Life has been meh and I’ve been lacking inspiration to make pretty photos in that virtual world, so I’ve been on IMVU instead this week and writing as well, tonight in particular I have written at least twenty pages for one of the stories, I don’t know where the spark came from but I’m glad it did.
Let’s see if I can find five positive likes from this past week;
- “Lingerie is not about seducing men, it’s about embracing womanhood.” – Dita Von Teese. I bought two harnesses by Mary Jane, she does custom jobs through Etsy and I been meaning to get something cute to show off subtley my ‘other’ side without being obvious.
- Crazy Rich Asians– I loved the book and the movie was a very good adaptation, I just wish there was a man like Nicholas Young, but finding a single, rich and humble bloke is highly unlikely in this world.
- An old acquaintance has returned in-world because he’s back to being overseas for work and in the same time zone, we caught up tonight and it was lovely
- My manager is back! She was gone for 4 weeks because she broke her shoulder and now she is back tomorrow, can’t wait to see her again! Our resident mama bear ❤
- Writing again, yes this is a positive every time I can do it before sometimes the struggle is real to find motivation to continue my many tales
I love having three days off, it feels like a long weekend and it means I can go out today to the shops or just go for a drive and there is no traffic and it’s nice and quiet in the shopping centre. Though it also means I will have to work this Saturday on my own (though I can’t now because I have my grandma’s 95th birthday lunch, I was under the impression it was a night time party as usual).
Didn’t do much surprisingly other than cooking dinner, helping my bestie Katie update her Second Life look, read over my previous stories that I haven’t looked at since March this year, Netflix and chill, walks under the warm sun. Even though my long weekend isn’t action packed, I don’t mind days where I can just have a breather especially with work being so busy with just three on the phone.
The new girls are picking up speed though in their training and we finally got one of them who has been with us for a month and a half on the phones. She is unsure of herself like I was when I first started working in hotels 8 years ago but I assured her with time, she will get the knack of it. With any skill it just takes practice.
Feels for this week have been happy, fluffy, supportive, passionate and all very optimistic, I am once again grateful that despite a tiring work week, the weekend makes up for it in decent doses of happiness.
Sharing my five positive likes for this past week and long weekend;
- Teen Choice Awards; Despite Constantin Films confirming that Shadowhunters is finished, my beloved show won best scifi series and actor! And that is piping hot tea to all those who cancelled it! BTS also won best international artist and Miraculous won best animated show. My fangirl heart is alive today.
- I have a serious weakness for Faerie fictional men, I mean Rhysand owns my soul from ‘A court of mists and fury’ and now I bought a new book called The Cruel Prince, the second main character Prince Cardan Greenbriar…lord! He is like a younger Rhys
- Spent this entire weekend with the boofhead inworld, happy mood on :3
- Devilled sausages on Saturday night, I haven’t had it in years (feels like it) so yum
- Bought from Pandora on Saturday arvo, their Shine honeycomb lace ring…been eyeing it for weeks now
Bonjour from the confines of my office! I am working today and while originally I felt overwhelmed especially seeing over one hundred emails and one thousand to be reviewed reservations, over the past three hours I have managed to cull both down at a decent amount. So once again I can be happy to say it is all quite manageable and I’m taking each task one step at a time while listening to my playlist of favourite, motivating tunes.
This past week I have also been back to working 9am-5pm and I will say that I miss the 8am wake-ups compared to waking up nowadays at 6am, it is freezing in the early morning! It is going to be worse next week with the 7am starts because I will have to wake up at 4:30am! Eww!
My social life outside work has been ok, I haven’t been logging on Second Life or gaming as much as I thought I would except at the beginning of the week. I have been multi tasking again, blame my ADHD, between reading book 1 of my fantasy trilogy, watching soaps being made and watching the new season of one of my favourite shows, I have been still keeping my brain distracted.
Been having nostalgic feels over my ten years being on IMVU this week, not sure why it’s been popping up in my head lately but another one of those mysteries of my buzzing memories. I also had an intense conversation with the ex, mutual understanding is forming but the trickles of frustration is present which I’m not sure he knows cause he reads this blog (I see you!) but other than that, nothing bad has happened this week that I can complain about.
I like to be a believer in good luck and karma and this week I been wearing my golden horse shoe necklace which has been classified as a known good luck charm, maybe that is it, or someone up there has been taking care of me.
My five likes for this week, it has been a good week despite work being crazy busy (limited staff);
- Fall out! The plot is depressing and I suck at 360 degree controls but my bestie Katie is a great teacher- so patient with me
- I got a favourite from the actor Luke Baines on my twitter! He will be playing the reborn Jonathan Morgenstern on Shadowhunters, we still have yet to save the show
- Bought the Clow book from Cardcaptor Sakura last night in it’s original Japanese format, one more artefact to become a true magic girl
- My hotel won ‘Best luxury hotel in NSW’ I am so proud to be a Sofitel girl
- Reunion with Mei tonight after work! We haven’t seen each other in two weeks and I’m having withdrawals of her company
Things are changing at work and that seems to my life this week, that and logging onto Second Life shopping for my cottage or taking pictures and gaining new Flickr followers. But anyway back to work, we said goodbye to another Reservations agent who has moved into Sales. Because of this and being limited in agents taking phone calls, our boss has decided to put all of us on a rotating shift.
Which means for me I’ll be doing a week of 7am-3pm (eww!) I don’t mind to be honest, it will be a nice break from finishing at night and seeing sun by the time I get home, it only means that I will have early wake up calls such as 4:30am to get a bus on time into the city. We also did a massive training segment for the entire hotel, it has been ongoing since last week, I did mine today. Learnt a lot and it’s four principles could also assist me in living my life.
One single line spoke out to me and it was something that the great inventor Thomas Edison had said to his peers after countless of failed inventions, I didn’t know that the man behind the light bulb had failed over one thousand times before he achieved greatness and put his name into our history books.
“I don’t see it as failing one thousand times, I see it as succeeding” To me, it is interpreted as that despite how many times you fail in anything such as being a decent person or doing your job correctly, fixing a relationship, you have all these bumps on the road, all these hurdles but to not see them as negative but rather a positive effect to encourage you to keep trying until you succeed. This resonated and stayed in my head and something I will apply to myself in everything that I do.
Let’s see if I can post my usual five, since this week it has been very quiet for me on the social front, I didn’t even go out with Mei on the weekend, I think we’re waiting until the new Mission Impossible comes out, her second boyfriend Henry Cavill is in it 😛
- Hanging out with the boofhead this past Friday/Saturday, it was nice to chill out online
- My boss said I should get a smaller uniform, I apparently have shrunk again -squee-!
- Addicted to watching novelty soaps being made on the channel Royalty Soaps via Youtube >.>
- Tiny bit of shopping last Sunday, I got more jeggings (jeans/leggings) and this cute polka dot sweater
- Massive catch up with my girls who work at Kitten D’amour, I haven’t seen them in a month, so nice to see both of them ❤
And I could continue the lyrics of “Breaking Free” from High School Musical but I won’t, but I just have another week where I can’t complain at all in what is going on in my life. This week has been great with both work wise and personal life. Despite some team members not being around this week, my department has still come out on top in tackling all aspects of our tasks and nailing it every day! Our new trainee is blossoming gracefully and very quick on the pick up…so, so proud to be a Reservation agent.
Friendships always changing but always getting closer with my girls and though I said goodbye to some for the benefit of myself (nobody wants a whiny pup, I’m just saying) I am fortunate for my small circle of friends. Speaking of which, seeing my bestie Mei last Saturday for movie date night was great! And nothing is better than having deep and meaningful discussions with your ‘Nee-chan’ while eating delicious, hot Korean food.
Tonight in the final hour of my shift at work, I drew a larger version of my fictional world Orphios (the planet where my trilogy: Seven Realms is set in case anyone has forgotten) and while browsing the web when I got home of other fantasy maps drawn by creative writers, I realised that the original specs of my first map wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t as small as I thought and my thoughts on my little world has gone back to content.
Side note: Same angles but using different colours/windlighting that I have seen featured on Flickr photostreams needs to go! I don’t want to see your pixel vaj 9 times, be original, be unique! Get some damn creative in your vapid soul! I am seeing an increase of online escorts doing this and it’s up there with my irritations alongside married women dating online, child-like avis in bondage and catfishing boys and girls.
Featuring my five likes of a productive but content week again;
- My real life fashion outfits, family and friends are complimenting me on how ‘on point’ my LOTDs are
- Incredibles 2 last Saturday with Mei was freaking fantastic! I could say it was better than no.1
- I bought a Sailor Moon umbrella from Spreepicky last night, it’s so cute, can’t wait to have it
- The to-be-reviewed reservations are back down to 0 at work and STAYING down!
- Soups on cold days that is all
I love to write stories whether book length or short quips and post them here for you all to read. This is the most obvious statement and when I look at my ten years of being on either IMVU or Second Life, I could happily say my own virtual world could have it’s own memoirs of my time online. I have had my fair share of positive and negative moments whether it was in-character for roleplay or just being me, I have experienced a lot.
Also what is with the case of the exes? Soon as I make a note I am single, they all come flocking back! Except 3 which I’m glad for, but the rest of them? I do not want a boyfriend, this is a new chapter in my life and I wish to focus on me. I want to be at my highest peak of success/career and personal happiness before I even think of dating someone again ohh and while travelling the world to my favourite destinations (Japan, Paris, Disney world…to name a few).
I am still forever grateful to my girls Katie, Lana and Aria for reaching out to me during my times of need and seeking advice, they haven’t been angry or offering vengeance rather they been giving sole advice, hope and ears to listen to my constant, flailing thoughts that are an emotional tumult even now.
Side note: Cutesy girls with child-like faces while totally kinked up needs to go, you don’t see that bs in reality so the whole trend going off on Second Life (not on IMVU thank God!) needs to desist, there is one thing to look “pure” and Lolita inspired but these girls just look like young girls, stop encouraging the pedos to come out of their dank caves!
Featuring my five likes for this very busy week;
- Family fuelled weekend, aunts from New Zealand are here and spent Friday, Saturday and today with mum’s side.
- Red Rooster’s cheesy nuggets, these are a cheeky snack and are so nom during cold days
- My imagination, it’s wide open whether through doing pictures on SL or continuing my Seven realms trilogy.
- No more tension, it’s been sealed off and clearing out the mental vents and because of it, I’m definitely back to my chirpy self again and people are noticing
- Golden State Warriors won the season! And the trophy is back in the bay! #Dubnation
Like my favourite NBA team the Golden State Warriors who pushed forward into the finals after almost facing elimination during the western conference, I too am facing a positive comeback after having a confused and stressful past week.
Though it hasn’t affected my career, it was noticed by family and friends but after a casual conversation today with my boss, she noted that I am improving in my mannerisms and I am hoping this is a change.
I do not want to feel like this again because being bluntly honest with everyone who is reading this, it is bloody shit! I don’t want to stay angry and confused over someone, because negativity is ruining my normally positive, go lucky self. When I’m upset or pouty, people will notice it and I don’t like that feeling that everyone can see it.
My family and friends have been looking out for me though as well as my boss at work, she has been amazing in the one on one chats and my mum or younger sister are keeping me distracted by taking me out and dad just being his adorable self in offering hope when it seems so dismal at present.
I also started writing again since last night, I had hint a writer’s block because of my relationship status and I been trying to get back into it since I returned from Hawaii. It appears to have returned last night.
Pulling together my five likes for this week;
- Already planning my holidays for next year- South Korea in February with the bestie and Japan in October possibly with my Aunt from New Zealand.
- Drinks tonight with the team, celebrating a birthday and a farewell
- Wreck it Ralph 2, Lego Movie 2 and How to tame your dragon 3 trailers were released this week! Yes cartoon movies give me strength >.>
- Watching Ocean’s 8 in Gold class tomorrow with the mother dearest
- Golden State Warriors are leading the finals 3-0, we only have one more game until we win!